Driving Jony Ive to Drink

I had a thought. I’m hazarding a guess that this is the bane of Jony Ive’s existence, the knife in his heart, the reminder of his own imperfection, and the image that haunts him as he tries, in vain, to sleep.

That’s right. Asymmetry. That’s the bottom of the iPhone 5, “The most beautiful device we’ve ever made,” according to Phil Schiller. 8 rows of speaker holes on the right, but only 5 rows of mic holes on the left, to make room for that blasted headphone jack. I would bet that Ive was arguing to the last possible minute, “For god’s sake, look at that shit. It’s uneven! Let’s just make people have to use wireless headphones. What the hell is Bluetooth for anyway? I need to go drink.”

(That thing attached to the phone is my Twelve South SurfacePad, which, yes, is decaying, and the marketing of which I mocked here.)

Come to think of it, from this angle, the iPhone kind of look likes WALL-E as a pirate. Yaaarrrrr!!!!

1 thought on “Driving Jony Ive to Drink”

  1. As my dad is known to say "doesn’t the lack of symmetry here bother you?" He actually made a grown man cry once with that line.


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