Whiterun Entrepreneurs Murdered in Vampire Attack

Tragedy in Whiterun. Vampires attacked this jewel of the province late last night, and as the sun rose today, local business owners Adrianne Avenicci and Belethor were found dead at the city gates.

The Jarl’s guards report that the two both fought bravely to defend their neighbors. This was particularly surprising of Belethor.

The motivations of the marauding vampires are as yet unknown, as all three attackers were eventually dispatched by Whiterun’s guards, with the help of local adventurers Renaxula of Morrowind and Zora Fair-Child of Riverwood.

A blacksmith by trade whose work rivaled that of Eorlun Gray-Mane, Adrianne was of course also the daughter of Proventus Avenicci, chief advisor to Jarl Balgruuf, and reportedly served as an informal “advisor to the advisor.”

Adrianne’s grieving husband, Ulfberth War-Bear, is putting on a brave face as he carries on running Warmaiden’s—the blacksmith’s shop he owned with his wife—maintaining his usual friendly manner and masking the crippling sadness he is no doubt enduring.

Halldis, Adrianne’s apprentice, says she will do her best to assist Ulfberth with running the business.

Ysolda, a local merchant of Whiterun studying Khajiiti economic theory, will reportedly take over Belethor’s General Goods, and it is said she has no plans to change the shop’s name.

Though neither were native to Skyrim (Adrianne hails from Cyrodiil and Belethor from High Rock), it is widely believed by those who knew them best that both Adrianne and Belethor are drinking and feasting with other fallen Nord heroes in Sovngarde.

A solid bit, an easy laugh

“Running Gag”
An original song by me, Paul Fidalgo.

Lyrics:

Alright, you know, how on Saturday Night Live they tell a
Joke, a lot, until it isn’t funny anymore
Well that’s as good a way as any to tell 
You about myself and how I manage to
Relate to those unfortunate enough to find
Themselves involved in intimate relations with a 
Man who can’t assemble a coherent personality
I guess that what I’m sayin’ is I’m a

Punchline
A solid bit
An easy laugh
I can be your running gag

Hold on, I think that I just caught you crack a 
Smile, a ray of hope that tells me that you might look 
Past the crap and understand the little boy who 
Had a lot of trouble making friends, okay
I’ll stop, you’re right, it’s probably too early to
Begin to dump the bullshit that I put up with when
I was twelve, but it’s kind of important if you 
Want to know more about me than that I’m just a

Punchline
A solid bit
An easy laugh
I can be your running gag
I’ll slay the crowds
I’ll impress your mom
I can be your stand-up man

And I promise not to cry
In front of you

Refresh my brain, what is it we were just talking 
About? Oh yeah, I was going on about how 
I can use self-deprecating humor as a 
Way to hide, but we can change the subject but 
Before we do I just want to be clear that I am 
Not a nut; a little on the spectrum but I 
Swear it’s not something you need to be concerned 
About. Just keep on telling yourself that I’m just a

Punchline
A solid bit
An easy laugh
I can be your running gag
I’ll slay the crowds
I’ll impress your mom
I can be your stand-up man